Reality check, please!

Headline:
"Can you believe noone has had the cojones to step it up with me, do you?"

"This is so corny, I'm not one to induldge in self promotion. This is so crazy. 2005, online dating, is this what it has come to? If you agree with me about how absurd this may be but are a risk taker, love to laugh, love to make people laugh, are cerebral, creative, happy, healthy, have a pulse & ABSOLUTELY no ex wives, children or STD's (or at least are willing to disclose what you may have & not rob me of the choice whether to date you or not because of your ego not the actual STD ) then we should talk. Upside: There will never be a dull moment with me. That's for sure. Downside: I may have a penchant for pain, I'm a huge Miami Dolphins fan. Ok fine i do have a penchant for pain. Wow, looking at the length of my STD diatribe I have been living in LA too long. C'est la vie. *** Music faves: The Mars Volta, Radiohead, Mos Def, Jay Z, Eric B & Rakim, Coldplay, Lamb, Portishead, Massive Attack, Bjork, Jet, Franz Ferdinand, Linkin Park, The Strokes, The Killers, Bob Marley, Manu Chao, 2 Live Crew, Zeppelin, Hendrix, Nina Simone, Billie Holliday, Tony Bennett, Sinatra, Miles Davis, Chet Baker, Pearl Jam, Handsome Boy Modeling School, DJ Z-Trip, Alchemist, RJD2, Zap Mama, Talvin Singh, Zohar, Natasha Atlas, Van Morrison, Eva Cassidy, Chris Cornell, Jeff Buckley, Jack Johnon, Ben Harper, Bowie, Elton John, AC/DC, Pink Floyd, Marilyn Manson, Maria Callas, Brazilian music, Haitian music, merengue, salsa, tango,Edith Piaf, Johnny Cash, Charles Aznavour, Screw it I like everything except contemporary country (singing about bar b que stains on white tee shirts is LAME)***"

This is funny. She's averse to self-promotion yet she has 16+ photos (all head shots) in her profile.

No, you're not a "risk-taker"- you're probably desperate. As hot as you present yourself to be, and as intelligent and good-hearted as you believe yourself to be, you can't seem to attract anyone in the real world and that's why you're here exchanging delusions with men.

Wow, 2 short references to STD's is a diatribe. Something tells me that she only recently learned the word cerebral too.

Interests
for fun:
"I LOVE music. Especially How a specific song strikes a chord in me & will forever be linked in my heart to a specific time, person, place, feeling; it's incredible.I have a lot of respect for artists & how easily they can pour out their soul."

Yeah, Britney Spears is a fountain of soul. And nobody else likes music or is moved by it!

Hot spots:
"I love Cuban food & sushi, but honestly I would prefer to cook at home.Negril, Jamaica is my favorite place because no matter where you're from in the world once you're there you feel like you're home."

I suspect Ms. Jet-Setter has done the Hawaii/Cancun/Jamaica tour. Anywhere only English is spoken.

Does she work for the Jamaican Tourist Board or is just naturally sappy???

Sushi. Like everyone else in LA. I bet she leans more towards the cowboy rolls. ;) Like the ones at the laughably inauthentic Geisha House, where struggling starlets bring their future johns.



Favorite things:
"Blue. Caribbean food. Shopping. Shoes. Film. Sleep in the rain. Sex in the City (comedy).The Shield (drama).Stevie Wonder.Damien Rice.Earth Wind & Fire. Oprah.Nelson Mandela.Brave New World. My brother Andy. My dog Divi."

Shopping, shoes and... Oprah! Men love that. Are you sure you're not looking hard enough for a man, honey?

Needs to validate herself with "Brave New World." I'm sure it's not even a topic of conversation on dates so she can rest safely in her delusion that she's uh ...intellectual.

Background
Ethnicity:
"I was born in Brooklyn,NY but raised in Miami. My family is originally from the island of Hispaniola (Haiti & Dominican Republic) so I have all sorts of slave, royal, slave master, & travellers blood in my veins."

Uh-huh. Royalty abounded in Hispaniola. Especially after Haitians killed or expelled all their White slavemasters in that bloody uprising, the first of its kind in the Western hemisphere.

I don't need to mention her race/ethnicity but it's a sad state of identity politics if you have to exoticize or romanticize your background to make yourself seem significant and... well, attractive. She's a striking woman (albeit a Barbie type- detachable parts)- she shouldn't have to embellish or even lie but that's what LA does to you, I guess.

faith:
"Born Catholic probably the one I identify with the most (can't let go of that guilt part, conditioning I guess) I have a fond respect to all faiths & I have an affinity for theology."

A fond respect to [sic] all faiths??? What is it about those faiths that draws out those gushy, sappy feelings of respect in you? "Hinduism- my coo-chi, coo-chi, woo-chi little chu-chi!... You are the wind beneath my wings."

And, uh, if you really had an affinity for theology - the learned profession acquired by specialized courses in religion- then maybe you should have gone to Theology School instead of Hollywood.

Oh, yeah- she also claims to be multilingual. Do we believe it??? :-)

How LA, pretentiousness and mediocrity served in one dish. I think I know why this girl hasn't found a cerebral man with the cojones to step up to her- he's saving them for someone with a good grasp of the English language.

Good luck, Manouschka Guerrier! You need it.