Rant and ... rant

Oh my God could I be any more sick of writing damn Personals letters?!

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Somebody shoot me. I started doing personals here at CL, then I joined Yahoo Personals, and True, Match, American Singles, ... and on until I was hitting up Jdate & theOnion personals. I have read thousands of posts & profiles by both men and women, and now I want to know: GODDAMIT PEOPLE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???!!!!!!

I keep reading profiles and thinking; how the fuck are these people propogating if they're too damn stupid to write a profile about themselves? How many billions of times do I have to read that girl/guy X "loves to laugh and have fun." Well holy shit, I like to feel bad and be miserable. FUCK YOU!

I can't believe anyone is so retarded they'd write: "I am looking for someone who likes go out and have a good time, but sometimes likes to stay home and take it easy. I want someone who is fun/funny/outgoing but also can be serious, and enjoys intelligent conversation." <-- But this retarded sentence is what EVERYONE of the fucking idiots on those services write. Do they not understand that they are describing EVERYONE ON THE GODDAMN PLANET?!?!?!!! Whadya write to that? "Well golly gee, I like to go out and have fun too! What?! you stay home sometimes? Wow! Me too! Let's get together and bump uglies?"

Did you not catch that you were supposed to specifically describe who you were and what you want?
!!!!!!GIVE ME SOMETHING PEOPLE!!!!
For the recod the following are more UNacceptable things to write about yourself!:

"I hate writing profile" We ALL HATE writing profiles.
"I love movies." What? Who has ever heard of such a thing?! Surely no one I know likes movies.
"I Love the outdoors" Bullshit you lying punk! If you loved the outdoors you'd fucking marry them. You'd be a park Ranger at Yosemite. What you mean is MISS the outdoors because you work in a florescent lit room and you live in the concrete wasteland of LA.
"I love my friends and family." Well go marry your cousin then. What you were trying to say is that if I'm the person who theoretically marries you in the future, then I'd better like my family too. But Pretty Blue Eyes, you know we're just gonna fuck, for a few weeks, and at most a year or two (and your eyes are brown, the blue is the contacts... why don't you post that? That you're insecure with you own eye color?!)